Its been a rough semester..
It started off like any other, with high hopes, motivation to do better..
2 months later.. back to the same old shit.. getting warnings in almost every class about my absences. I dont know whats wrong with me..
I care but I dont.
I think I can get away with it.. but I know I cant..
They all say the same thing.. youre an excellent student but you never show up and as a result thatll effect your grades..and it always does..and i always do the same shit next term

i overestimate myself. most of the time i think im better than most at what i do..
but deep down, i know that isnt the case.. and it scares me.. i hate competition
i wish there was something for everyone that they were really good at.. but so many people are good at those things too..

life is hard. even though people complain about having to follow rules and instructions, norms and routine.. itd be nice to have some kind of guideline for life.. that if you follow it, youll be ok.. nothing will go wrong, youll be happy.. you wont hve doubts.. its all just laid out there for you..

it sucks making decisions on your own sometimes, even though thats what weve been fighting for all our lives with our parents, teachers, authority..

so confused, so confused.. i really should start praying.. i know itd help.. but i somehow always find a reason not to.. i really suck.

ahh.. im gonna go shower.