magickalcreation

Just needed to change my journal entry.
Its 2 yrs old.

Hope whoever is reading this is splendid.

Its been a rough semester..
It started off like any other, with high hopes, motivation to do better..
2 months later.. back to the same old shit.. getting warnings in almost every class about my absences. I dont know whats wrong with me..
I care but I dont.
I think I can get away with it.. but I know I cant..
They all say the same thing.. youre an excellent student but you never show up and as a result thatll effect your grades..and it always does..and i always do the same shit next term

i overestimate myself. most of the time i think im better than most at what i do..
but deep down, i know that isnt the case.. and it scares me.. i hate competition
i wish there was something for everyone that they were really good at.. but so many people are good at those things too..

life is hard. even though people complain about having to follow rules and instructions, norms and routine.. itd be nice to have some kind of guideline for life.. that if you follow it, youll be ok.. nothing will go wrong, youll be happy.. you wont hve doubts.. its all just laid out there for you..

it sucks making decisions on your own sometimes, even though thats what weve been fighting for all our lives with our parents, teachers, authority..

so confused, so confused.. i really should start praying.. i know itd help.. but i somehow always find a reason not to.. i really suck.

ahh.. im gonna go shower.

Its been over a year since my last journal entry.. man, its crazy just typing that out..
but yeah, im not ''back'' or anything like that. im just simply sick of seeing the same old journal entry about anticipating the start of the summer, especially since we just started school again a week ago and its a long ass time until the summer vacation..

anyway, hope everyone is doing well. good luck with everything.

peace

p.s: to all fellow muslims, ramadan kareem

So, i got exactly one week until finals finish and summer vacation starts. its so close yet so far.. i still have to go through hell to reach that little light at the end of the tunnel.. tomorrow i got a project due and a final.. havent really done shit for both.. seems like coffee is gonna be my new best friend for the next few days.. cant wait till this is all over with.

other than that, lifes just PEACHY.

Its been the most horrible week ive experienced in a long time. Ive experienced a series of bad news and events. I dont think i can take it anymore. I wish i can just run away from my life and start a new one and forget about everyone ive ever known in this life. I feel so numb, like a zombie.. just walking around with nowhere and nobody to go to. I feel so alone, so betrayed.

I always believe that things happen for a reason. Ive been wanting to change many things about myself and my life for a very long time and maybe now i have the chance to focus on myself.

Ive definetly hit rock bottom this week so i guess theres no other place to go but up. Just hope it happens quick and goes real high.